wtf pwm

The Society Pages

Reneé Beauregard

April, 2010
Katie Duhamel hosted a book group on Thursday evening. Martha Madison, Marnie Davis, Lisa Plouffe, and Carol Rice attended.

No one is prepared for the Thursday book group. Katie Duhamel had startled most of the women of Chantilly Street by inviting them to the group, as it is widely known that Katie Duhamel cannot read. Or perhaps she can read, but Katie Duhamel is very, very stupid, and it would not surprise anyone if she could not read. The book was never chosen. Katie had asked for book suggestions, but no one suggested a book, because they were certain that Katie was joking. Katie Duhamel may be illiterate and very, very stupid, but she is also funny sometimes. Katie did not choose the book herself, because she was too busy coming up with funny names for her new book group. The first name she came up with was The Leek Soup Book Group, but Katie hates leek soup, and probably doesn’t know how to read a recipe. The second name was Chantilly Street Book Meet, but most of the women on Chantilly Street declined her invitation and began their own book group. They called it Chantilly Street Book Meet. The third name Katie came up with was Toast and Tea, and the four attending women had no idea there was a book involved in tonight’s meeting. They are only prepared for toast and tea.

Marnie Davis visited her son, Troy, on Friday evening.
Marnie Davis tells everyone that her son is the most handsome man in the world. She tells them that he writes her letters every week at least, and that he keeps his home perfectly clean. She tells them all of this so that they will introduce her to their daughters, and so she can introduce their daughters to Troy. The daughters already know Troy, though, because they have all seen the newspapers that detailed his arrest when he was discovered urinating behind the post office.

Lisa Plouffe spent the weekend with her daughter, Elizabeth Plouffe.
Lisa Plouffe collects cats and sandwich bags. She collects the cats because they keep her company when she isn’t welcome at her daughter’s home. She collects the sandwich bags so that she can quietly and neatly purloin all of her daughter’s cat food when she is welcome at her daughter’s home.

Marnie Davis visited her son, Andrew, on Monday morning.
Marnie Davis loves her sons, but neither of them are good boys. Troy had that nasty incident behind the post office, and now Marnie cannot walk past a government-owned building without wondering if someone is relieving himself behind it. Andrew is a writer, and he uses a typewriter and the word “damn” in public. Marnie doesn’t know which son is worse. She makes breakfast for Andrew on Monday mornings, and when Andrew is taking his eleven o’clock nap, she shuffles through the typewritten pages Andrew hides in the silverware drawer. One day, Andrew’s pages will tell of a mother who sneaks around her grown son’s home while he is napping, and then Marnie will stop making breakfast for Andrew on Mondays. Instead, she will contemplate urinating behind the post office, and spend Friday night with Troy, who doesn’t write nasty things about his mother.