wtf pwm

I wasn't born to admire seashells.

If a British theater director with
bad teeth comes to America and
demands to see an American
dentist I'm going to get suspicious.

I'm not a fan of the phrase: life changing.

I like to drink cold water.

I stopped wearing a side pony tail.

Dear God. How will they sell me
without a pony tail?

Thighs equal side pony tail.
Voice equals side pony tail.
Blinking equals side pony tail.
Five years side pony tail.
Buy me a steak and have sex
with me side pony tail.

Now people say: She is channeling
her inner Pina Bausch.

I would love to talk Pina Baucsh.

But first I want to listen to this
T-Pain song. (Because I've been
so Chopped N Screwed.)

The real victim in my life is my
housemate who, in public, has to
act like I am a very sophisticated
person who does not(!) listen
to T-Pain songs.

Being in this Gymboree class
makes me feel dirty.

I wanna tell you something
about me and some strangers.

There comes a moment in every young
woman's life when she must tear herself
away from the Cocoa Krispies long enough
to say to the world:

I no longer wish to be in an exclusive
relationship with a college basketball coach.

I want to have sex with a man wearing
bubble wrap.